Sunday, October 25, 2009

You are all prisoners of you own bodies

You can never truely let yourself go and be happy, you always holds something back, even from your loved ones. This maybe the self preservation mechanisism of humans. We try to shield ourselves of things that can and would harm us physically or emotionally.
At time we see loving someone as one huge threat. Loving someone is giving another person the power to hurt us. Though loving someone is natural it it so hard when you live in fear, fear of letting yourself go, letting that person in. Because once you let them in, you are left feeling so vulnerable, you feel almost naked by baring yourself emotionally. Doing so we might end up jepodising the very thing we want to salvage in life, what seem to matter.
Life teaches us to be strong, so we become strong by hiding our true selves from all kinds of hurt and pain, even from the person you love.

This is my last post, my blogging days seemed to have outrun its course, but I'll still be posting my insane, emotional and bubbly ramblings elsewhere...gonna make a fresh new start...

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Days rolled onto years and still you memories are ever fresh
but still i feel as if it all is just another bad dream
Its hard when you have to face the fact that you are really gone
but i think i'll live in the oblivion just a little longer
'Cause the pain sure is lesser compared to that of knowing you are gone
Maybe i just need another couple of years to get used to the idea of your loss
Till then i would let the tears roll down from time to time
Until a day comes that i would simply remember you and smile at the memory

Saturday, October 10, 2009


Some memories refuse to stay buried, I dont want to remember them, because all they do is make me cry, and I believe I have done more than my share of crying. I hide my tears from everyone, even from the ones I love, because I know they wont understand it, I myself don't understant it either, why it still hurts after all this time.
I heard, with time the pain of loss eases, you learn to let go of the memories, if not all but those that hurts the most. But somehow those memories are ever so fresh in my mind, the pain so real as if it happend yesterday.The only escape from the pain seems to be the never ending tears that falls from my eye every time I recall them.
So I cry, until I have none left, exhaust myself to sleep wishing, hoping I dont dream of you...

Thursday, September 24, 2009

When we were young we were so sure of what we want out of life that we never would have heard of the word compromise
but as life goes on and you are hit with reality you realise that you may not be able to get what you want at your own terms, whether its the typical person you want as a life partner or even a career
that's when we start to make compromises and choose the second bests
but, aren't we cheating ourselves by compromising???

Sunday, September 20, 2009


I remember a time when i was a kid, we would look forward to eid as being more than holiday
Its the day a big feast would be cooked and be visited by relatives
Its the day we would wear our new dresses and go to watch the marches
Its the day we would watch the firewoks of every colour blind the night sky
However with time, Eid has become just another day we could just laze around at home and watch tv or facebook all day
The only difference with a weekend and an Eid holiday is that it just last longer
Eid Mubarik

Saturday, September 12, 2009


I hate the fact that;

I'm accommodating,

I hate the fact that;

I'm compromising,

I hate the fact that;

I don't express my anger when I'm angry

I hate the fact that;

I hide how I really feel

I hate the fact that;

I can never express my fears

I hate the fact that;

I'm a pushover and people take me for granted

I hate the fact that;

I lie when asked how I feel to please them

I hate the fact that;

I trust people so quickly

I hate the fact that;

I am so forgetful

Mostly I hate the fact that;

I am unable to change myself despite knowing it all

Friday, September 4, 2009

Another month
Another milestone