You are all prisoners of you own bodies

You can never truely let yourself go and be happy, you always holds something back, even from your loved ones. This maybe the self preservation mechanisism of humans. We try to shield ourselves of things that can and would harm us physically or emotionally.

At time we see loving someone as one huge threat. Loving someone is giving another person the power to hurt us. Though loving someone is natural it it so hard when you live in fear, fear of letting yourself go, letting that person in. Because once you let them in, you are left feeling so vulnerable, you feel almost naked by baring yourself emotionally. Doing so we might end up jepodising the very thing we want to salvage in life, what seem to matter.

Life teaches us to be strong, so we become strong by hiding our true selves from all kinds of hurt and pain, even from the person you love.

This is my last post, my blogging days seemed to have outrun its course, but I'll still be posting my insane, emotional and bubbly ramblings elsewhere...gonna make a fresh new start...

=)

Days rolled onto years and still you memories are ever fresh

but still i feel as if it all is just another bad dream

Its hard when you have to face the fact that you are really gone

but i think i'll live in the oblivion just a little longer

'Cause the pain sure is lesser compared to that of knowing you are gone

Maybe i just need another couple of years to get used to the idea of your loss

Till then i would let the tears roll down from time to time

Until a day comes that i would simply remember you and smile at the memory

TEARS IN THE EYE, PAIN IN THE HEART

Some memories refuse to stay buried, I dont want to remember them, because all they do is make me cry, and I believe I have done more than my share of crying. I hide my tears from everyone, even from the ones I love, because I know they wont understand it, I myself don't understant it either, why it still hurts after all this time.

I heard, with time the pain of loss eases, you learn to let go of the memories, if not all but those that hurts the most. But somehow those memories are ever so fresh in my mind, the pain so real as if it happend yesterday.The only escape from the pain seems to be the never ending tears that falls from my eye every time I recall them.

So I cry, until I have none left, exhaust myself to sleep wishing, hoping I dont dream of you...

When we were young we were so sure of what we want out of life that we never would have heard of the word compromise

but as life goes on and you are hit with reality you realise that you may not be able to get what you want at your own terms, whether its the typical person you want as a life partner or even a career

that's when we start to make compromises and choose the second bests

but, aren't we cheating ourselves by compromising???

EID : JUST ANOTHER HOLIDAY

I remember a time when i was a kid, we would look forward to eid as being more than holiday

Its the day a big feast would be cooked and be visited by relatives

Its the day we would wear our new dresses and go to watch the marches

Its the day we would watch the firewoks of every colour blind the night sky

However with time, Eid has become just another day we could just laze around at home and watch tv or facebook all day

The only difference with a weekend and an Eid holiday is that it just last longer

Anyhow

Eid Mubarik

10 THINGS I HATE ABOUT ME

I hate the fact that;

I'm accommodating,

I hate the fact that;

I'm compromising,

I hate the fact that;

I don't express my anger when I'm angry

I hate the fact that;

I hide how I really feel

I hate the fact that;

I can never express my fears

I hate the fact that;

I'm a pushover and people take me for granted

I hate the fact that;

I lie when asked how I feel to please them

I hate the fact that;

I trust people so quickly

I hate the fact that;

I am so forgetful

Mostly I hate the fact that;

I am unable to change myself despite knowing it all

Another month

Another milestone

=)

Does the distance make the heart grow fonder OR does distance mean, out of sight out of mind???

I have never written a post like this...but after reading Hilath's blog i just had to write this

Centuries and Milleniums ago, the Prophets showed us the ways of Allah, the path of Islam, the gift of Quran and the wisdom of Hadith's. All this is to guide us through the journey of our limited time her, our manual guide.

Injil was the scripture sent to Isaagefaan to guide the bani israil people, however it was banned after the bani israil peope made lots of modification and adjustments to it.

Those were the bani israil people, they were the people of the past, and we the people of the present are still following in their shoes. We take what have been told us to be done and twist it to suit for our advantage.

One good example is how we punish the people who commit robberies in Maldives, it is clearly stated in the Quran the punishment for such a crime; chopping off the hands and legs as s/he continue to commit the crime, however we Maldivians doesnt seem to be practicing this, nevertheless we are said to be practicing the Islamic law, Shariah.

Further, the Habi people as they are so famously known are coming up with their own rules and regulations and even have the gall to say it is said in the Quran and the Hadiths of the Prophets.

The wearing of the Abaya which covers the whole face is said to be a must as per them, however that is not that case. Islam nor the Quran has ever implied that women have to cover their whole face, but rather their au'ra, which is considered evrything else but the face and hands.

Our task is simple here, follow what has been brought to us by the Prophets, the path of Allah, is it that hard that people have to go and manipulate it for their advantage?

I do wonder how they are going to justify what they say and do on the day of judgement, now that would be one justification which would be worth listning to.

About a decade or so ago, whenever two guys meet up they would end up going to Hotaa for a sai...

Now the tradition has changed somewhat and gotten more and more popular. Now adays when ever two guys or more meets up, the whole meet up is bound to end up in some cafe' or restaurant sharing a cup of never ending coffees and blow smoke at each others faces.

SOULMATES???

Some say its the person who is meant for you

Or perhaps the one who complete you

the one person whom you are meant to be with

one person without whom you feel as if you are lost

one person who makes you whole

but, is there such thing as soulmates???

HELP!!!!!

Ive been back at studying for the past three weeks and missed another three weeks at uni

I have no idea whats going in the classes and assignments have been submitted, presentations date are closing in, so are the due dates

In short im in deeeeeep Shit

:/

Remember those walls I built

Well baby they're tumbling down

And they didn't even put up a fight

They didn't even make a sound

I found a way to let you in

But I never really had a doubt

Standing in the light of your halo

I got my angel now

I swore I'd never fall again

But this don't even feel like falling

Gravity can't forget

To pull me to the ground again

Hit me like a ray of sun

Burning through my darkest night

You're the only one that I want

Think I'm addicted to your light

I know it's easy to say but it's harder to feel this way
And I miss you more than I should
Than I thought I could
I can't get my mind off of you
=)

Expectations ; the root of all disappointments

SLEEPLESS

Aaargh
Its been almost two weeks and still am not able to sleep through out the night without waking up around 3-4 in the morning, and unable to go back to sleep there after. And before I knew it I'd be dozing off in the afternoon and wasting the day away.
I need my sleep back
=(

IM GOING HOME =)

After 5 looong months I'm flying home at last

I cant wait to feast my eyes on my lil sis

hug my mom

nag my bro for cyke rides

make hell for my bro and sis 

irritate my grandma

hangout with samurai

Catch up with old friends

and be with my baby 

=)

Einstein defined insanity as doing the same thing repeatedly and expecting something different to happen each time

So if you are not insane and you have been in love and had your heart broken, is it insane to think the outcome would be different a second time you are in love???

We are humans after all so we would end up making mistakes, but a few of us admit it.

Because its human nature to turn a blind eye on their own flaws. Therefore when we make mistakes, we seek out someone else to cast the blame at.

Wouldn't it just create less drama if you just admit your own mistakes and go from there, but guess some people rather create more drama than owning up to their mistake and forgive and forget

Last weekend had been all about reminicing with old friends. Met with friends with whom I had worked with and studied in the past. It made me realise how life had changed. 

In our minds time may not have moved on in such a fast phase, but you would realise it when you look back.

Now we meet an old friend and know that they had gotten married and have started a family, which is suprising to us, cause for us it seemed like yesterday that we were 16, but in reality we are more close to being 26 than 16 :p

When you stop to realise it, we are not even the same person we were last year, we change, life moves on and with it we do have to change, we don't realise it thought, but change we do...

150 dayzz

Never thought we'd make it this far, but yet we have
=)

I've been awake for a while now

You've got me feelin' like a child now

'Cause every time I see your bubbly face

I get the tingles in a silly place

And it starts in my toes

And I crinkle my nose

Wherever it goes

I always know

That you make me smile

Please stay for a while now

Just take your time

Wherever you go

=)

(Bubbly-Colbie Callet)

We all make mistakes

Adam and Eve were told to stay away from the forbidden fruit, but they ended up eating it nevertheless

There began the human nature of making mistakes, and till this day onwards people still make them

Mistakes were not supposed to be forgotten, if that were so, the whole point of it ever existing is pointless

Adam & Eve learnt the lesson of obedience. Just like that every mistake teaches us a lesson, a lesson we need to embrace, so that we can further avoid repeating them, or prevent someone from repeating it

I'm not ashamed to admit that I've made more than my share of them, but even more proud to admit that I've learnt more from it

TRIP TO SUNWAY LAGOON =)

Had the most hectic and the bestest day ever
I've been meaning to go to sunway lagoon for ages now and finally went with two of my class mates...we went there at 11 in the morning and came back at 5, from that it took us an hour to find our way through
When we got out from we were so hungry that we went off to have a huge dinner...then spent an hour trying to get a cab (Friday evenings are rush hour, real difficult to get taxi)
So ended up spending an hour ride in the KTM to get home
No matter what, we had such a BLAST, loved the water rides there, though had to so some convincing to the other two to try the rides...wanna go back soon and try out the other parks
=)

Somebody once said that if u laugh too much then you are bound to cry soon
So no matter how happy we are we are bound to spill a few tears along the way...
so smile, laugh all you can and be happy before the tears starts streaming down
=)

Can't help but smile everytime i think of you
=)

We say we want to know the truth, that we can handle the truth.

Whoever said that had live to regret it later

We can never handle the truth, no matter how we prepare ourselves

Truth doesn’t set us free, it break us

No wonder ignorance is bliss!!!!

do we still go on celebrating their birthdays...even though they are not here

People say pain of loss never goes away...it comes in waves,...but what you do when the pain is constant...

Anger is such a misplaced emotion. We get angry for different reasons, some which may seem stupid and uncalled for when we look back. Sometimes, the reason for being angry may seem right and may make sense at the moment, but with time you will only remember the fact you were angry and loose sight of the reason behind it.
Some wise guy once said
Get mad, then get over it
=)

LOVE BUG

Once bitten by the love bug people are never the same
Some become strong with the pain, while other cower away all their life with the scars
Some became so hard of the lessons learnt, while some soften up to the sweetness of it
And a lucky few live life never being confronted with it

You never see the hard days in a photo album... but those are the ones that get you from one happy snapshot to the next...

But, sometimes it's only the snapshots that you are left with...

Can people be in a relationship and not fall in love???

Did you ever wonder that after you get married you can never be single
Its either you are MARRIED, DIVORCED or WIDOWED
scary thought

NEVER ENDING TRIP TO PENANG

I was up all night doing my assignment and preparing for my presentation. I went to uni early so I can prepare for the presentation with my group buddies. Luckily the presentation went well and I was able to submit the assignment on time. I thought it was one of those days that things were going to go right.
Alas! I was wrong. I went home and packed my bags to get ready to leave to Penang with my cux and her hubby. We needed to catch the bus at 4:30. We tried to get a taxi at 4, but all we got was a
Im sorry no taxi
So it was a race against time. We carried our luggage to the nearest taxi stop (which is a 5 mins walk, imagine carrying one large suitcase, one small suitcase) and to top it off the traffic was unbelievable. However it was no surprise cause the Chinese New Year holidays were here and everyone was in hurry to leave for the holidays like us.
We reached the bus station after 10 minutes pass the departure time, so we missed the bus.
Panic mode. My bro-in-law(BIL) and I rushed to find another bus, and luckily we found another bus in 5 mins.
My oh my what a bus. It shook all the way to Penang, I had my doubts about us making to our destination in it. And further a trip that should only have taken 4 hours took us 6 hours.
I thought we were pass the hard part and we can have a smooth ride once we got to Penang, but no, fate just was having too much fun for it to end.
We got on to taxi and he said
Oh I know the place
So we were off to the apartment. It turned out the guy had no idea where the apartment was, so it was another half an hour riding trying to find the place which should have taken only 10 minutes.
Finally we reached our destination, and I was ready to crash. Never was I gonna go anywhere in the rush of a holiday...naaaah...I'm not gonna sacrifice my holidays cox of some sick joke fate plays =)

In life when we are so used to bad stuff that when something good happens along the way we wait in vain for it to come to an end, cause its hard to believe that somethng good can finally happen after all the bad that has happened.

2009 =)

Smile at every opportunity life throws your way
Even when you are not sure...or when you wanna cry so bad,
a smile can go along way...so what if the world has turned upside down, maybe its life's way of saying what's to come is worth the hurt...
say goodbye to all the heartaches, all the hurt you have felt this year and welcome the new year with new hopes, hopes of things to be better or atleast you'd try to make it better with a positive attitude
Happy New Year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!