Saturday, June 30, 2007


Cheers...No more a teen & Im loving it :)

Thursday, June 28, 2007


I've been listening to this song a lot latelty so thought I'd post it :)
I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did
You fell so hard I've learned the hard way, to never let it get that far
I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out I cannot cry
Because I know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake a smile, a laugh
Every day of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me,
but everyone around me
Because of youI am afraid

-Because of you-Kelly Clarkson-

Sunday, June 24, 2007


The past week I have been hit by this bug or whatever that had made me queasy all day and wanting to vomit. Since I hate ( more like am afraid) to vomit I've take every measure not to vomit. So I had avoided any kind of food ( or drink ) Empty tummy will not have anything to be thrown up :D
So For two three days I hadn't eaten anything but ice cream and chips. My mum was going frantic, while my kid bro ( who is 12) went to the bathroom to throw up now and then , and was telling to I should eat and throw up that way it would pass for good
But wild horses can’t make me throw up. I have emetophobia, which is fear of vomiting. When I was a kid I heard this story that a kid due to worms started to vomit, and then worms started coming from his mouth, and not long another was coming from his nose. Since all of his air ways were blocked, he died.
So since then I fought all means necessary to avoid from vomiting. But alas on Friday night I almost won over the vomiting when I went to attack some juicy fried chicken.
Anyways now I'm all better. All it took was only once to vomit.

Saturday, June 23, 2007


Each Little Joke We Had Shared
Little Arguments That had Ended In Fights
Little Acts That Had Turned Into Heartfelt Joys
All Stored In The Treasure-Chest Of My Fond Memories
So One Day When I Am A Lil Blue
I Can Unfurl Them And Find Myself Amidst The Most Beautiful Moments
In My Life Once Again

Tuesday, June 19, 2007


She stood there standing numb of all feelings. The wind kept playing with her hair and blowing her dress around her feet. All she can think about was about how unfair every was. Life…Fate…and even God Himself.
When She was just a toddler her father had abandoned her and her mom. But she bravely faced it all and didn’t shed one tear. She was too young to feel any thing. At the age of 10 her mother committed suicide, she stood there froze looking at her mother hanging by the ceiling. She never cried out, didn’t make one sound. She wished for things to get better.
At the age of 15 she was brutally raped. She took the hurt in. Never complained to God. Never showed any sign of anger, any sort of revenge. She moved on hoping life would finally be kind to her.
At the age of 19 she got married and her husband got killed weeks after the wedding. She stood there frozen in the winter cold at the funeral. Not one tear rolled from her eyes. She held brave face and knew things would one day be better.
Weeks after the death of her husband she lost her baby.
So lost all hope. She belived in the rainbow that was goning to be ther after the storm, but in truth there never goinng to be one ever again, not for her.
Everyone she loved had left her…her father…her mother…her husband…and now her precious child was taken away from her She can still go on as if nothing is wrong but she has had it with lying to herself. She just had enough of life shooting challenges at her way.
She looked down from the terrace. Yes the world down there doesn’t care about anything but themselves. As for her she has nothing to care about. Everyone she cared about has been taken from her. She never asked more from life, just for life itself be kind to her. But seems like she was asking for the impossible.
She walked to the edge and spread her arms and pushed her self. For viewers she might seem like she was falling, but she knew she was flying. And she was flying to her loved ones, her family. She was going home.

Sunday, June 17, 2007


Each of us were born and given a name...but instead of that we use an alternative. It took our parents hours,days,months or sometimes years to come up with the perfect name for us, yet we chose to be known as some other name. I believe that there is no certain stage in life where we gain nicknames. It could begin anywhere.
My kid bro was called Kitty cox he looked like a cat when he was a baby, the name was given to him by his cousin who was only 6 months younger than him. And kitty gave that cousin the name Aby cox he some how couldn't pronounce his name. Then came Kambo...I really have no idea how that one started. It's no only adults who come up with names....the kids make up the cutest of nick names. My lil sis call our uncle Boaba (A.K.A. Donbe) & me Doatha (She couldn't say Dondatha cox it was too long for her). And all this when they were toddlers.
The nicknaming continues when we are in school too. Nicknames are called with accordance to some event that might have happened, (eg.Miss Aminiaya was called to this gal, she used to act so tui and was named as such), due to appearance (eg, the Aminiaya supervisor was called Woody cox he looked like Woody in), and due to their given names (eg, there was a teacher called Shehezaard & we called him Prince), and sometimes due to how they act ( we sometimes call tink gamarunisa cox she sometimes act a lil dumb), due to the name of their house (Senko Shreef)Names are given to different people for differnt reason
Here are some names of my friends:
Tink/Baybigal,Suxsex:Well that was somethin they came up with themseves
Yuyu,Midho:Given by their families
Simba:Given cox she wore a Simba T-Shirt once
Xuny,Aisha:Short for her long name
Gamru:Cox She acts stupid sometimes
Samurai:Hmmm I think cox its the similarity between the two names
As for my name, Kaidha: It is short for Safarukaidha, that is cox I got a huge temper or was it cox it's kinda like my name. Hmmmm ( I cant reallly figure out tat one )

Wednesday, June 13, 2007


My mother found out about her unexpected pregnancy when I had finished my O Levels. believed then that my mum was too old to start raising another kid.
She had been vomiting the whole of Ramdhaan and didn't even sensed that she was pregnant. For a women who has given birth four kids this was pretty ignorant that she was unaware hat she was pregnant.
Any how she found out later but then also I did lack the enthusiasm. But as days and months passed the prospect of another baby in the family became something we all were looking forward with anticipation.
The doctor told mum when she was six months pregnant that is was a boy, I was so excited, later the doc said it was a gal. And a gal it was.
13th June 2004 mum woke up around 5 and woke the whole family and we all rushed her to the hospital. I had never looked forward to anything that much in my whole life.
12 hours later at 06.06 in the evening Shuko was borned.
She was beautiful, she was perfect slky black curls to her tiny little toes, The best part , she looked like me :)
From that day n ward our lives changed. It started revolving around her

Monday, June 11, 2007


Hours continuing long, sore and heavy-hearted,
Hours of the dusk, when I withdraw to a lonesome and unfrequented spot, seating myself, leaning my face in my hands;
Hours sleepless, deep in the night, when I go forth, speeding swiftly the country roads, or through the city streets, or pacing miles and miles, stifling plaintive cries;
Hours discouraged, distracted--for the one I cannot content myself without, soon I saw him content himself without me;
Hours when I am forgotten, (O weeks and months are passing, but I believe I am never to forget!)Sullen and suffering hours! (I am ashamed--but it is useless--I am what I am;)
Hours of my torment--I wonder if other men ever have the like, out of the like feelings?
Is there even one other like me--distracted--his friend, his lover, lost to him?
Is he too as I am now?
Does he still rise in the morning, dejected, thinking who is lost to him? and at night, awaking, think who is lost?
Does he too harbor his friendship silent and endless? harbor his anguish and passion?
Does some stray reminder, or the casual mention of a name, bring the fit back upon him, taciturn and deprest?
Does he see himself reflected in me? In these hours, does he see the face of his hours reflected?

Picture from flicr

Thursday, June 7, 2007


Recently my lil sis, Shuko keeps showering everyone she meets with questions
Why this? What is this? Where is this?She never seems to be out of questions. Sometimes I think she gonna grow up to become a TV host or someone.
The other day she saw a lorry and asked where is its nose?EkekeThat's not all...she is too keen a listener. She listens very carefully when two people are talking and pick up the conversation.
One day my grandma was shouting at donbe cox he was taking this lady out for spins. After that granny came to our room where there was one very keen audience listing to the whole quarrel.
Shuko came up to ganny and asked "Maama Boaba deke rulhi aisa dho? Boaba kaaku govaigen tha duvn dhany?"
My mum who was listening to this burst out laughing. We all learned that conversation like this should be kept private...well at least from shuko.
Remember the scene in Thiyaloabiga where the two girls fight over a T-Shirt and says vagu vagu vagu. Well Shuko picked that up too, whenever Shuko sees both of them she would keep on ranting vagu vagu vagu.
Well at that age I think all kids do all those craxy stuff which are so cute.(but not the questioning...God cox there never seems to be an end to it)And their curiousity is all over the place.