Friday, March 30, 2007


My little sister was the unexpected surprise of the family. From the moment I laid eyes on her I have loved her to distractions. There is nothing I wouldn't do for her.
It took us months to come up with a name for her and in the end we choose Shuaau, later changed to Shuaa.
She orders everyone around and bosses a lot (WOW she wonder where she got that from)
She usually gets her way with everything.
The other day I came home from office and was resting when shuko sunglasses broke. She came to me and cried for one and in the end I took her to buy ones.
Events like that are endless, but I think its cute to spoil her
She hates it when people touches my stuff and would go and boss them and tell
"Dotha rulhi annaney"
She calls me doatha instead of dontha
No matter how mischievous she is or bossy I love each and every thing about her
Its great to have someone to spoil even though she got you wrapped around her little fingers

Thursday, March 29, 2007


I've told myself so many times before

But this time I think I mean it for sure

We have reached a full stop

Nothing's gonna save us from the big drop

Reached our natural conclusion

Outlived the illusionI hate being in these situations

That call for diplomatic relations

Depeche Mode: Leave in silence

picture from

Wednesday, March 28, 2007


I never asked for much,

but what I want was out of reach

I never wanted the impossible,

but something only within your power

My one small wish,

some how made me feel like I was being selfish

All I asked was for love,

but guess I was asking for too much

Tuesday, March 27, 2007


The air cones in my office is always broken. It started with the one in the accounts department. Then the one in the MD cabin. The worse was when the one in our canbin broke. And then the one in the meeting room (it broke 3 times )And now the reception air cones had been nuts broken for the past two days and we still waiting for some stupid motor or somethig.

So in brief the air cones now in repair:Accounts departments,reception and the server room.

Air cone which never till date broke: the one in the kitchen. Go figure that

Monday, March 26, 2007


Ive had plenty of pets but not all at once, one at a time

First I remember having rabbit int he house as pets. They were OK i guess cox they didn't scare me or anything but their Poo sure stinks. Maybe that was the reason mum got rid of them.Well for what is worth I think they really look kinda cute

Then came a turtle, not a big one a small one. It was quiet cool to have one. But unfortunately it didn't last long. I buried it in my house when it died.

Third we had pigeons. Not one or two a whole army or so of them. It actually started with a quiet a few. But before we knew, the roof of our house had a huge pigeon house and there were flooding with them. But them it kinda started getting creepy with them making sounds at night so we stopped feeding them. And after that they never came back.

Then one of my cux bro brought a real KOOOOOL owl. It was all white and alllll. We had it for like a few days and before we knew it it had somehow escaped. So much for wanting a pet owl.

Then We had parrots at home. We used to have them from time to time but they never grew, i mean in number so mum got bored of it so we always ended up selling them. But one time the number increased so much we had this huge cage at home and the house will be filled with their sounds. But them again mum got bored and we sold them cage and alll

Then the time came for some scales. Yess FISH. We didn't have any huge fishes or anything but we did have some japan fish and some other fish i cant remember. Most of all I remember the fighting fish which had really pretty colours. But when they also started to increase in number we kinda lost interest and sold them all

And the last pet I had was a v Nice White cat I found on the road. It was soooo cute. I really did loved that cat. But unfortunately one day it got out when the door was open and got hit by a pick up (sniff) I was really upset that day cox that was the one pet which I had reallly with me.

Anyways after all that long list I had given up on pets. Well maybe I should try to see how having a lizard or something turn out. hehe. Just kidddding


I've decided to start posting a movie trivia quiz everyday (xcept on fridays cox thats my offical day offfff)
So the rules are pretty much simple and the same
Each person can give one answer and one answer only
No discussions about the quiz
Spelling mistakes will be noted so keep and eye on that
And yeah last but not the least badges will be awarded the next day for one lucky winner


Friday, March 23, 2007


I knelt to pray but not for long,

I had too much to do.

I had to hurry and get to work

For bills would soon be due.

So I knelt and said a hurried prayer,

And jumped up off my knees.

My Muslim duty was now done

My soul could rest at ease.

All day long I had no time

To spread a word of cheer.

No time to speak of Allah to friends,

They'd laugh at me I'd fear.

No time, no time, too much to do,

That was my constant cry,

No time to give to souls in need

But at last the time, the time to die.

I went before the Lord, I came,

I stood with downcast eyes.

For in his hands God held a book;

It was the book of life.

God looked into his book and said

Your name I cannot find.

I once was going to write it down...

But never found the time"

Thursday, March 22, 2007


Since she was a little girl she had hated her mum for something she thought her mom did. But how was she to know how wrong she would be proved

Abortion. Miscarriage. For a seven year old the meaning did not mean anything. She couldn’t differentiate between the two.

She found out that her mother has lost a child. She presumed that the child was her mother and fathers.
She lost it when she married her new husband.

Some years later she heard on the TV the word abortion she was used with regard to loosing a baby. She checked up the meaning. It was to terminate the pregnancy. She was under the illusion that her mother on purpose killed her sibling because her mother didn’t want to have a child of her fathers

For years she kept this anger, this hate hidden. She never spoke of it to anyone, not even her mother.
She secretly kept on resenting her. But as luck would have it she blurted out to her aunt who corrected her
Her aunt told her that her mother never aborted any child. The child she presumed was her fathers was actually her step father's child. Her young mind failed to make that connection that her mother and father had been divorced for a while.

And on top of that she found out that her mother actually miscarried meaning lost the child.
All her facts were based on her false assumptions.

Maybe it was cox she wanted some reason to hate her mother to driving her father away and bringing in someone else to replace him, or because she didn’t like the idea of her mother having any other mans child. Whatever the reason she learned her lessons. Her mother had always tried the best for her children no matter what. And she will NEVER put their lives born to other wise in any kind of danger.

She will forever have to live with the thought that she had unknowingly wronged her mother and she was too ashamed to tell her that. Maybe someday she will and then maybe she can out that to rest until then she will have to carry the burden.

Monday, March 19, 2007


You were supposed to help me walk,
but you ended up crippling me
You were supposed to be there for me,
But you ended up being the one who let me down
You were supposed to be my bestfriend,
But you turn out to worst than an enemy
You were supposed to be my dad,
But you ended up being just a stranger

I was suppoed to be you little princess,
But I ended up being just another gal without a dad
I was supposed to go with you for rides
But you never had time for me
I was supposed to lean on you
But every time I did I fell on my face;cox you were never there
I was supposed to be daddy's little girl
But I ended up being just a regular gal with divorced parents

Sunday, March 18, 2007


Lately i have been a little sick,u know the usual squeamish headache thing. Wel I was about to take some strong pain killers when I remember the last time what happened when I turned to pills to ease my pain. I started having small headaches so i took the common panadol.Before one was enough but i started takin two. Then the number doubled to four.Penadol didn't seem to be easing my pains so I changed to panadine. Yeah a pretty strong one. Of that also I was taking about two or four. Then it was time for me to take a stronger one. Brufen. Unbeknown to me I was starting get hooked on them.One of my friends said to me that i ate them like i ate food. That scared me. That was my wake up call, I was starting to become the thing I hate the most. I hated the people who were so weak to give into the urges of drugs and I myself was also becoming a victim of it. That day was the wake up call for me. From that day on ward I avoided taking pills. And my mother also made sure the pills were out of my reach. Can u imagine a mother was trying to hide pills from her grown up daughter. I know she was doing it for my welfare and I love her for that. So now also when I get sick she would give me the medicine to the correct dose.
I learned my lesson.
Its easy to get drawn to the addiction but you just need some help to help you see the light

THE NOTEBOOK-Behind every great love is a great story

This is the best love story I ever watched

Though the movie was released in 2004 I came to hear about it from my cux bro Zaa
He had the movie and asked me to watch it
I thought what lame name
So The DVD found was another pile of junk in my closet
Then one day I was so bored.
I went through my closet and came across the movie
I thought what the heck lets just watch it
The movie opens with an someone canoeing and then shows an old lady standing near a widow
The movie did not interest me much
Then it progressed and became one of the best movies I had ever watched
I'm so glad I didn't throw it away
I'm currently trying to find the novel,someone told me that the novel was better than the movie
If the movie was that great imagine how good the book going to be
These are the movies that help up keep faith in love
I can watch this movie over and over again without getting bored
The movie stars Ryan Gosling & Rachael McAdams
If you wanna check it out click here & read the plot here

Saturday, March 17, 2007


I go to give tuitions this house every other day. And in order for me to go there I have to cross the ‘bangalhi heaven’
Yes a bangalhi heaven
I named that area so cox when ever I am there it is full of them. There are every where you turn
It’s like every bangalhi in town seems to be there blocking the road
And I think the reason for that is very clear
There are bangalhi hota’s on that road and almost four bangalhi music and film stores.
So in order for me to reach my destination I do have to cross this bangalhi heaven
I personally don’t have anything against them but why cant they just have their gathering or whatever else where they wont be blocking other peoples way
Already they are occupying the dhuvaa park near Islamic Centre
Well guess have to tolerate them cox we seem to have no choice in the matter

Friday, March 16, 2007


All my life people had been telling me how I should live my life. Most of those decisions were made for me by mother. Walk this way, talk this way, do this, do that. But what about what I want. How would you feel if you were to act like a puppet? How would you like it if you were judge all your life?

When I was a kid I was a tomboy. So I had an intrest in sports. I participated in gymnastic but my mother didn't want me there so had to quit. Then I started playing badminton and was quiet good, and for that I was selected for the interschool but mom didn't want me to so I had no choice. That sports was also forgone. Then I got the oppotunity to be in the atletic meet but unfortunatly i got chicken pox during the try out and missed my chance. I felt as if life was playing one cruel joke on me.

I wanted to pursue my career as a doctor, but alas my mother had other ideas. She wanted something else for me. I know she must have thought she was doing what’s best for me. But she gave my little brother the choice that I never got. Why the difference? Cause I am a girl? Or Cox I am more dumb. No matter what the reason the decision was made. And there was nothing I can do about that.

But fate was more kind to me, I found the best treasure to be found in the world. I found friends. And not just any, the type you find once in a life time. And I thank God every day for that. Sometimes I think I should thank my mom too, but somehow I can’t bring myself to do so, somehow I still blame her for making that important decision of my life for me.

As luck would have it being a math’s wiz (I love numbers) I found the chosen option very easy, and my results were impressive. But on the other hand my brother results were disappointing. I never find pleasure in other people’s ill fate, but in this case somehow I felt relief as if I had proven something. I felt relieved.

No matter how much I want to hate my mom for how she controled my life I couldnt bring myself to do that. How can you hate some and love them at the same time. Or maybe my love for her is more strong and deep than the hatred. Or my hate was misplaced. No matter what the case I owe everything I am today to her. She had struggled hard and for that how can I hate her. So I can't even try to or even have the right. Sometimes my anger may get the better of me and I mght want to hate her but I don't think I can ever hate her

I strongly believe that we all are the masters of our own destination. The only person that change it is God Himself. I’m done with people making decisions for me, but still somehow I still don’t have the total control over my life, but I’m happy and thankful for what little control I have. At least for now, I am. As the saying goes
Something is always better than nothing

Thursday, March 15, 2007


She wanted to make the leap. She had been thinking about it for sometime now. How easy it would be just to take one small step and all the hurt, the pain, the ache will disappear.But then she stops to think, that's when the weight of what she had been about to do hit her. Who was she kidding, no one but herself. If death was the answer half the population would be seven feet under by now. If that was the solution things would have made a lot of senseYes death will catch up with us with us someday, but who are we to decide when. This life is not ours, so how can we make the decision to end itAnd think about all the people whom she would hurt just because she doesn’t have what it takes to endure pain. How can she have become so selfish, so self centered. She never used to be like that.But as they say life teach us the most valuable lessons and she has definitely learnt hers. Death is painless but never is the answer. You just need to take one day at a time. As they say "When life gives you lemons suck on it”. We’ll she has learnt just to do that. Being miserable never did her any good anyways. When things go wrong we can Sulk and Groan but doing any of these never made anything things right. No matter what the facts will not change.
She can just smile and accept that everything that happens for a reason and instead of trying to figure out the reason. She has to go with the flow.
And to be frank living life like that is so much better. Take things as they come, make plans. So what if they fail, she just makes them again and hopes for the best. Cox someday...just someday things will go her way, even for a day, an hour, a minute and she know, when it does it sure goin to be worth it!!!!!

Monday, March 12, 2007


I say I am good,
But I don't think I can ever be
I say I don’t feel,
But deep down I hurt
I say I’m not tired,
But I don't I have the strength to go on
I say I don't cry,
But my pillow weeps with me at night
I say I’ll trust you,
But deep down I know I can’t
I say I’ll love again,
But I don’t have the courage to do so
I say I won’t get hurt,
But I know I’ll end up torn
I say everything will be alright,
But I know I am lying to myself
I say I am happy,
But nothing can be further from the truth
I say I'm living,
But I know I'm just barely existing

Sunday, March 11, 2007


Ghost Rider...

The name didnt mean anythign to me a couple of months ago

I have a habbit of looking out for the next movie and reading the plot.And then checked out the trailers, thats how i found out about Gost Rider

I loved the plot

And to top it off it stars Nicholas Cage my all time favourite actor

Im currently waiting ot buy a clean copy of this and yeah i want to watch for the first time on the big screen namley Atena here

So here is the plot check it for yourself:

In order to save his dying father, young stunt cyclist Johnny Blaze sells his soul to Mephistopheles and sadly parts from the pure-hearted Roxanne Simpson, the love of his life. Years later, Johnny's path crosses again with Roxanne, now a reporter, and also with Mephistopheles, who offers to release Johnny's soul if Johnny becomes the fabled, fiery Ghost Rider, a supernatural agent of vengeance and justice. Mephistopheles charges Johnny with defeating the despicable Blackheart, Mephistopheles's nemesis and son, who plans to displace his father and create a new hell even more terrible than the old one.

Nicolas Cage as Johnny Blaze / Ghost Rider
Eva Mendes as Roxanne Simpson
Wes Bentley as Blackheart
Sam Elliott as Caretaker/ Carter Slade
Peter Fonda as Mephistopheles
Donal Logue as Mack
Matt Long as Young Johnny Blaze
Raquel Alessi as Young Roxanne Simpson
Brett Cullen as Barton Blaze
Mathew Wilkinson as Abigor (Wind Demon)
Joel Tobeck as Grissel (Earth Demon)
Daniel Frederiksen as Wallow (Water Demon)

Directed By: Mark Steven Johnson
Produced By: Avi Arad
Written by: Mark Steven Johnson

(If you want a more detailed plot check it out at

Perky & THE BIKE

Bike riding. We all must had done some of it when we were kids.Its so easy to learn.

All you need is a little balance and a little push.I admit that my riding skills are very poor but at least I dont throw my Bike away.

Hehe unlike some

Here is something you dont know about the one and only Aysha(A.K.A. Perky)

When we all finished Aminiya we all had a habbit of going riding in the eary morning.Me,Aysha,Midho,Muna and sometimes Sama would go riding then we would go shoot some baskets.

It was one such day. Aysha was goin ahead of us in my bike while i rode on a cyke with a friend. But suddenly there was a police jeep coming behind ( it wasnt folowing her or anything nor was it coming fast) and the rest were behind far behind the jeep.

Aysha pankied and aboondoned her bike in the middle of the road and she ran to the other side

So here is a pointer for all you people learning how to ride.

If you sense a police jeep behind just push the brakes dont abondon your bike!!!!!!!!

Saturday, March 10, 2007


The hardest word,

but easily said

The quickest way out,

without no return

Leaves a trail of tears,

and nothing to ease the pain

Why do people always have to say

GOODBYE in the end!!!

Thursday, March 8, 2007


Why wait for the painful KILL
KILL yourself TODAY!!!!


No cowards soul is mine,
No tremble in the
World'd storm-trouble sphere:
I see Heaven's glories shine,
And faith shines equal,
Arming me from Fear.
- Emily Jane Bronte -


How the day came to be

International Women's Day (IWD) is marked on 8 March every year. It is a major day of global celebration for the economic, political and social achievements of women. Started as a political event, the holiday blended in the culture of many countries (primarily Russia and the countries of former Soviet bloc). In some celebrations, the day lost its political flavour, and became simply an occasion for men to express their sympathy and love to the women around them - somewhat similar to Western Mother's Day and St Valentine's Day mixed together. In others, however, the political and human rights theme as designated by the United Nations runs strong, and political and social awareness of the struggles of women worldwide are brought out and examined in a hopeful manner.

Wednesday, March 7, 2007


love sure is blind, if it were not,i would never had fallen in love with him
He was a skinny,ordinary looking guy who had noting special about him and i fell head over heals in love with that bloke.He had no clue that i was in love with him for 5 whole years.
For some it was almost obvious.
I hear people say that if you dont act today it would be too late tomorrow.So in the end i mustered up enough courage to tel him how i felt.
But what a fool i was to fall in love with him, for him i was just someone who looked good on his arms.
He not only hurt me, he shattered my belife in LOVE and TRUST. And to think i was willing to go against my family if the time had arisen, i was willing to do what was necessary so we both can be together.And all that for who???
In the end he ended up breaking my heart all the same and making me look like a FOOL
So how can i not say LOVE IS BLIND, if it werent would i had falen for a loser like him!!!


My mom only had one eye. I hated her... she was such an embarrassment. She cooked for students & teachers to support the family.

There was this one day during elementary school where my mom came to say hello to me.
I was so embarrassed. How could she do this to me? I ignored her, threw her a hateful look and ran out.
The next day at school one of my classmates said, "EEEE, your mom only has one eye!"
I wanted to bury myself. I also wanted my mom to just disappear.
So I confronted her that day and said, " If you're only gonna make me a laughing stock, why don't you just die?!!!"
My mom did not respond...
I didnt even stop to think for a second about what I had said, because I was full of anger. I was oblivious to her feelings. I wanted out of that house, and have nothing to do with her.
So I studied real hard, got a chance to go to Singapore to study.
Then, I got married. I bought a house of my own. I had kids of my own. I was happy with my life, my kids and the comforts.
Then one day, my mother came to visit me. She hadn't seen me in years and she didn't even meet her grandchildren. When she stood by the door, my children laughed at her, and I yelled at her for coming over uninvited. I screamed at her, "How dare you come to my house and scare my children!" GET OUT OF HERE! NOW!!!"
And to this, my mother quietly answered, "Oh, I'm so sorry. I may have gotten the wrong address," and she disappeared out of sight.
One day, a letter regarding a school reunion came to my house in Singapore. So I lied to my wife that I was going on a business trip. After the reunion, I went to the old shack just out of curiosity. My neighbors said that she died. I did not shed a single tear.
They handed me a letter that she had wanted me to have.

My dearest son,

I think of you all the time. I'm sorry that I came to Singapore and scared your children.
I was so glad when I heard you were coming for the reunion.
But I may not be able to even get out of bed to see you.
I'm sorry that I was a constant embarrassment to you when you were growing up.
You see........when you were very little, you got into an accident, and lost your eye.
As a mother, I couldn't stand watching you having to grow up with one eye.
So I gave you mine.
I was so proud of my son who was seeing a whole new world for me, in my place, with that eye.

With my love to you,
Your mother.

Tuesday, March 6, 2007


Friends are an aid to the young, to guard them from error;to the elderly, to attend to their wants and to supplement their failing power of action; to those in the prime of life, to assist them to noble deeds.
- Aristotle -

He who has a thousand friends has not a friend to spare, while he who has one enemy shall meet him everywhere.
- Ali bin Abi Talib -

My best friend is the one who brings out the best in me!
- Henry Ford -

Strangers are just friends waiting to happen. To become a good man,one must have faithful friends, or outright enemies.
- Napoleon -

Life without a friend is like death without a witness.
-Spanish Proverb -
Do not protect yourself by a fence, but rather by your friends.
- Czech proverb -
Hold a true friend with both your hands.
- Nigerian Proverb -

Monday, March 5, 2007


Friends. We can spend all day defining it; some may call it a blessing, some a curse and some something that they cant live without.

Well I say it can be all that and more. Life had proven me that friendship cannot be defined in a mere few words.

A couple of girls and I, had been joined to the hip since we had been in the same class in mid school. We were all young, naïve and free. We counted days by chilling at each others places and having the time of our lives without a thought of tomorrow. We were having a blast.
We all survived heartaches and failed exams but this only helped to bring us closer, and close we were. But after we all finished mid school everything started to change. Most of us made to high school while the rest enrolled else where. Some of us were as close as ever, some more closer while some drifted. But through it all we all kept in touch one way or the other.
But nothing could have prepared me for the forth coming years. Lots changed in the years that followed.
I found the "Love of my life", lost him the first time and then was left betrayed the next time.
Lost one of the closest friends, one whom I considered my best friend. The break up didn't hurt as much as loosing her did. And to make matter worse I found out the "Love of my life" had never loved me. While I struggled with that hurt school was over and I had graduated.
Without wasting time I found a job and got busy and later started tutoring at nights. Then also I was carrying the burden of being the reason being that, one of our friend has left us. I felt as I had failed her. Though she referred to everyone I knew she blamed me more because we had been real close and I should have been there for her and she also should have said that she neededa friend. What ever the reason I was carrying the hurt that I had disappointed a friend and to top it off I found that "Love of my life" had spread rumors that he NEVER loved me. Added to that I had started having problems at home.
That was the time I needed my friends the most. I had a habit of babblingand saying what is on my mind to help ease the pain. But when I did ask the friends that I had left none was too interested in lending an ear. At that point I realized how much I had come to depend on them for the past 5 years.They wanted me to move on. Well its better said than done. I needed some one to understand me and hear my bullshit if that was what is was instead of the brush off treatment I received. I needed them to be there for me like I had always well almost been there for them. I don't blame them for not being there, 'cause of that I had been thought a valuable lesson. Never depend on anyone but yourself. Well life thought me that lesson, and let me tell you it was one HELL of a lesson.

After that I took a little time out to figure out my priorities and made peace with the friend I lost and we moved on and I am proud to say I did it all by myself, no one to guide me no one beside me, al lon my own. But there forth I do admit I kept a part of me to myself and the appearance to get together had become less frequent due to the long hours at work and the tutoring. My friends had started to complain that I don't spend time with them like I used to.

Come to think of it I haven't got the faintest idea why they would think I would avoid or rather not take the opportunity to spend my time with them.Well guess they just didn't.I had an argument about this to one of my friends and it didn't end pretty, because we had not been able to resolve it and in the end she didn't want to talk about it. Well she should have known never to leave things hanging because they are bound to fall sooner or later.

Well guess it did fall and this time the fall was hard and painful. I got tired of the complaining and told that they can spend their time complainingin the process of letting our friendship wither slowly and painful with resentment, or they can end it now and save everyone from the misery or simply just get over it.

But it turn out we all end up saying lot of things that we had shelved; them not being their for me when I needed them, myself being mean, myself not sharing enough. We said some things which we will end up regretting in times to come.
In the end I believe they took the fighting path while I don't want to end up with the bitter memory of them. Rather we ended things when we at least can look into each other without hate and resentment, so I took the way out.
But I guess I must have made a mistake somewhere cause I ended up loosing one of friends who had already turned bitter against me while the rest just have brushed it off as if didn't happen.
Loosing the friends I had cherished for more than 5 years was hard and painful but not impossible because I had learnt to depend on myself rather than others. But the fault wasn't my own. It takes two to tango.

So it seems like friendship has all the drams in it after all. Love,happiness, hurt, misunderstanding.

So who ever had forgot to appreciate you friend or friends do it today or it just might be too late. And it is easy to not to say the words and push problems into the closet, but what you going to do when the closet it full?

My friends FORGAVE me or I FORGAVE them, cant remeber how it happened but it did in the end. So time will only tell wether it is going to fail again or grow strong

Friends are precious, they do make your life tolerable, but when they started making the wrong turns things may end up real nasty, so you have a CHOICE either u can try to untangle it or get tangled in it. The choice is yours....

Thursday, March 1, 2007


The art of losing isn't hard to master;

so many things seem filled with the intent

to be lost that their loss is no disaster.

Lose something every day. Accept the fluster

of lost door keys, the hour badly spent.

The art of losing isn't hard to master.

Then practice losing farther, losing faster:

places, and names, and where it was you meant

to travel. None of these will bring disaster.

I lost my mother's watch. And look! my last, or

next-to-last, of three loved houses went.

The art of losing isn't hard to master.

I lost two cities, lovely ones. And, vaster,

some realms I owned, two rivers, a continent.

I miss them, but it wasn't a disaster.

Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture

I love) I shan't have lied. It's evident

the art of losing's not too hard to master

though it may look like (Write it!) like disaster.

By: Elizabeth Bishop