FIX ME

When you try your best, but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse?

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
Could it be worst?

What do you do when your ANGER and FRUSTRATION reach the breaking point???

Need a shoulder to cry on

YOU DON'T SEE THE TEARS FALLING WHEN IT RAINS

I like it when it rains,
I pretend I'm not crying

And was it his destined part

Only one moment in his life

To be close to your heart?

or was he fated from the start,

to live for just one fleeting instant,

within the purlieus of your heart

-Ivan Turgenev-

IT'S TIME TO SAY GOODBYE FOR REAL

Its never easy to say Goodbye
And its even harder when its some one you love
But nothing can ever be achieved
By refusing to let go
So you need to make you peace and say

GOOD-BYE

Mohamed Nazil

24.03.1986 - 24.10.2007

WAITING FOR THE CHANGE THAT NEVER CAME

I wait in vain for things to get better....

but alas they don'tthings change with time

for better, i doubt

cause the change is another form of deception

To make us lower our guardsand feel as if things are finally going to be ok

but in the end we are back where we started

back where things never get better...

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin' to do

TATA FOR NOW

Today is my last day at the job which I had been working since Last year July
Am glad am leaving but a lil sad toooo cause Its hard to let go of something eh nu
Well I am letting go today....no more office

And yeah won't be able to blog for a while....But will be back soooooooooon

NOTHING IS GOING RIGHT

Nothing is going right...I talked about changes before...well my life is turning upside down...why can't things just go back to the way they were

I pray to God to make things better
If not, at least not to make them worse
So far my prayers hasn't yet been answered
cause all I have been getting is bad new and more bad news...
It wouldn't hurt to have something positive to come out of all this
That way I'd have something to hang on to
Something to look forward to
Instead of waiting for the axe to fall
And dreading what more that could go wrong

:(

EVERYTHING & EVERYBODY IS CHANGING

Lately nothing is as it is now.Poeple are changing...things are changing and most of all I am chaging too.
My life seems be be going in clock work for about a year and then it stuck me that I dont want it to be that way anymore. I like plans but the few days in Thodoo made me realise one thing...its better to take a day as it come than to plan ahead.
But the real question is do I really need this change?
Thats not the only thing that has changed. Relationships has changed so much in the past month. My Aunt & Uncle are moving out on Friday. We all had been living together before I was even born. Nothing is ever gonna be the same again
I am soo confused...I am not sure about anything anymore...I liked the way things were before and I was happy about it
But I guess things can't always be the same dho...It needs to change in order for the world to move on...As for me I'd just have to accept this as as it come and go with the flow.

BESTEST NINE DAYS OF MY WHOLE LIFE

Yeah, am back from Thoddu and V late in posting
I have grown soooooooo dark, and have a few bruises here and there but it dont matter. Cause I had the bestest time in thoddu

We would get up early in the mornings and walk abt 15-20 mins to the beach.And what a beach it was. You dont ever wanna get out.We all went there everyday we were there except the day we arrived and departed.

Apart from that we played loads of badminton ( lost a few pounds i like to think so ) & yeah cant forget went to the dandhu thah also. And this time I had the previlildge of picking a watermelon ( Alas! I dont eat them )And then we all went to the beach two days in a row after Tinks mum, sis and bro came which turned out to be the BESTEST picninc EVER
We played water ball, Volly, Riley, Boalha gahaaa, Goani riley, bulha riley, Football & Dodge balll.
And We even went riding in the fields...not two but three in a cyke. It was Soooo much FUN. Went even about half an hour before sunrise. I was sooooo scared. There are all this Handhi Fureytha rumors that would make anyone scared to go out at night. But I went regardless and I'm so proud of that :)
I even learnt to ride the cyke and almost had a fall it if werent for Tink's cux I would have came to Male' with more than a few bruises here and there
OOOH I miss Thodhooo already *sniff*

AT LAAAAAAAAAASSSSST

No more entries...no more printing...no more reservation makings...no more STRESS Cause I am finally taking a Tiny vacation to tinks Island ..Yes Thodhoooo...About time So Its just me...the sandy beaches...the crystal clear waters
& Ya HAPEEE INDEPANDANCE DAY

HAPEE B DAY SIMBA

Today is one of my closest buddies B day/ She turned 20 ( Twenteen in her opinion)
Why Couldnt she had wait to be born tomorow that way she could have been an independance child...LOL
Midho & I had been friends as long as Tink & Aesha & Sucksex. We have had our share of ups & down...but she is one person I can count on no matter what, She even went shopping with me on a rainy day carrying an umbrella from one store to the other. Coudn't have asked for a better friend.

HAP! B DAY MIDHO...A.K.A. SIMBA A.K.A. MITTE A.K.A. MIXHATH

She sure has loads of nick names don't she ;)

WAY BACK TO LOVE

I've been living with a shadow overhead
I've been sleeping with a cloud above my bed
I've been lonely for so long
Trapped in the past, I just can't seem to move on

I've been hiding all my hopes and dreams away
Just in case I ever need em again someday
I've been setting aside time
To clear a little space in the corners of my mind

I've been watching but the stars refuse to shine
I've been searching but I just don't see the signs
I know that it's out there
There's got to be something for my soul somewhere

I've been looking for someone to shed some light
Not just somebody just to get me throught the night
I could use some direction
And I'm open to your suggestions

There are moments when I don't know if it's real
Or if anybody feels the way I feel
I need inspiration
Not just another negotiation

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart to you
I'm hoping you'll show me what to do
And if you help me to start again
You know that I'll be there for you in the end

Artist: Hugh Grant & Haley Bennett
Soundtrack from:Song & Lyrics

THE LIGHT OF THE FUTURE

With the darkness closing in, I gaze into the light
The darker my past, the brighter my future
The emptiness ahead is filled with my dreams
With my actions
You never know when stepping in the light
If you are blinded by your future
Or skeptic from your past
Tired of your present

You need a change, you need hope
No more darkness in your life
This leap may be one you fear
But now, the future is near

By: Gilad Benari

FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL

YES!!! Finally. Ive been trying to coax mum to send Shuko to school from the start of this year. She changed her mind abt it at the mid of this year so by the time she had Shuko's three years. So that means she cant go to Baby Nursery but Nursery
Tried shopping for a cute barney bag cox Shoo was craxy abt it....but these Male' shops don't have anything cute enough. Everywhere I went there was Barbie and more Barbie.
So in the end I gave in and bought A barbie bag ( Barbie Farietopia).
Got bixy with the name tag...Tink helped me out, stayed up till 2 to finish it up ( since I had no time the whole day)
After all the hard work she was supposed to go to school on Sunday, but it rained like cats & Dogs...so no school ( all my hard work and sleepless night gone to waste *sigh* )
So on Monday made some lame excuse at office and came home to take Shuko to school with mum and beybe.
There were 5 girls and 6 boys in the class. Shuko clunged to my legs sticker than glue. Then the Aunty came and took her to the corner to show something and mum & I made our escape.
Aunty closed the door and then came the tears. Shuko was banging on the door and crying. It was heart breaking. She cried for abt 5 mins but it seemed like more. But then a reallly good Aunty came and picked her up and started to the BIG talk saying this and that. This somehow made Shoko stop crying and mum and I started to go home
Then we thought of buying some chocolate to distribut to the class...so bought it and brought it back and sneeked at Shuko...She had this betrayal look oon her face but I knew She'd be OK
In my family Niha ( my Cux), Huxain ( her bro) and I were the only one who hadn't cried bloody murder on our first day of school. And I'm darn Proud of IT :)

I'VE BEEEEEEEEEEEEN TAGGGGGGGGGGGGED

1) 3 Things You Can’t Do

*Turn back time
*Fly
*Sing ( I got the worst voice ever)

2) 3 Things You Can Do

*Make anyone laugh
*Dream
*Make any worse situation seems like the best

3) 3 Things That Scare You
*Cockroaches (Eeeeeeeeeeeek)
*Dark
*Heights

4) 3 Things You Love
*My mum
*Shuako
*Friends

5) 3 Things You Hate
*Smokers
*Liers
*People who try to hurt people I love

I choose to tag
Nazia
Nadhee
Pixsie

WE ALL SCREAM FOR ICE CREAM

It is common knowledge among us that tink doesn’t eat ice cream. I know weired cox who doesn’t like ice cream. It turned out that she ate so much ice cream when she was in aminiya that she has gotten fed up with it.
So I took it upon myself to re-introduce her to the wonderful world of ice cream. I took her to seagull (where they have the yummiest ice creams) and I ordered for her. One bubblegum and chocolate chips ice cream and for me, a three scoop combination of pistachio, chocolate chips and chocolate.
Tink loved it. (Well after a few takes she hated the bubble gum but loved the chocolate chips)
So am planning on taking her there a few more times...Where ice cream is concerned...I bet no one can eat just one :)

FIRST LOVE

We never forget the first times.
The first time we did something remarkable,
The first time we saw something mind-blowing,
Or the first time we felt something earth shattering.
We will remember our first love.

Love comes to us in different disguises,
But it is the first confrontation that goes deep.
We might never know who or when we might had felt it,
But the feeling will always remain with us.

Only a few are lucky enough to hold on to it
And start a life together,
As for the unlucky lot
They have to endure the pain
And learn the bitter lesson of loss and hurt

GOOD DEED FOR THE DAY

Last year I took Shuko for walk with my cousin and her bf. We went to jumuhooree maidaan and shuko was excited looking at the pigeons. We were about few feet from the fountain and I saw this kid about one year all by himself there with no parent.
Suddenly We all saw a women running towards us screaming "magey dari magey dri" and pointing towards the fountain.
I looked and saw that there was no sign from the kid that I saw earlier. The I saw small hands raising from the fountain. My cousin and I ran towards and I reached into the filthy waters and took the kid.(In order to get there quickly I almot knocked Shuko, thank God my cux's bf took her)
As I took the kid,that kids parent who turned out to be his careless grandma (stupid women). She thanked us and took the kid to Islamee Marikazu in order to get the kid cleaned up.
I know the water there was no deep but since the kid had fallen and was unable to get up
I felt prood myself and considered that I had done my good deed for the day :D

EXPECTATIONS!!!!

Grown from the bud of hope
Deserted by the tears of Disappointment

ADIÓS TEEN LIFE

Cheers...No more a teen & Im loving it :)

BECAUSE OF YOU...

I've been listening to this song a lot latelty so thought I'd post it :)

I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself cause my heart so much misery

I will not break the way you did

You fell so hard I've learned the hard way, to never let it get that far

I lose my way

And it's not too long before you point it out I cannot cry

Because I know that's weakness in your eyes

I'm forced to fake a smile, a laugh

Every day of my life

My heart can't possibly break

When it wasn't even whole to start with

Because of you

I never stray too far from the sidewalk

Because of you

I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt

Because of you

I find it hard to trust not only me,

but everyone around me

Because of youI am afraid

-Because of you-Kelly Clarkson-

EMETOPHOBIA

The past week I have been hit by this bug or whatever that had made me queasy all day and wanting to vomit. Since I hate ( more like am afraid) to vomit I've take every measure not to vomit. So I had avoided any kind of food ( or drink ) Empty tummy will not have anything to be thrown up :D
So For two three days I hadn't eaten anything but ice cream and chips. My mum was going frantic, while my kid bro ( who is 12) went to the bathroom to throw up now and then , and was telling to I should eat and throw up that way it would pass for good
But wild horses can’t make me throw up. I have emetophobia, which is fear of vomiting. When I was a kid I heard this story that a kid due to worms started to vomit, and then worms started coming from his mouth, and not long another was coming from his nose. Since all of his air ways were blocked, he died.
So since then I fought all means necessary to avoid from vomiting. But alas on Friday night I almost won over the vomiting when I went to attack some juicy fried chicken.
Anyways now I'm all better. All it took was only once to vomit.

FRIENDSHIP....ONLY A BEGINNING WITH NO END

Each Little Joke We Had Shared

Little Arguments That had Ended In Fights

Little Acts That Had Turned Into Heartfelt Joys

All Stored In The Treasure-Chest Of My Fond Memories

So One Day When I Am A Lil Blue

I Can Unfurl Them And Find Myself Amidst The Most Beautiful Moments

In My Life Once Again

HAPPY BEST FRIENDS DAY

GOING HOME

She stood there standing numb of all feelings. The wind kept playing with her hair and blowing her dress around her feet. All she can think about was about how unfair every was. Life…Fate…and even God Himself.

When She was just a toddler her father had abandoned her and her mom. But she bravely faced it all and didn’t shed one tear. She was too young to feel any thing. At the age of 10 her mother committed suicide, she stood there froze looking at her mother hanging by the ceiling. She never cried out, didn’t make one sound. She wished for things to get better.

At the age of 15 she was brutally raped. She took the hurt in. Never complained to God. Never showed any sign of anger, any sort of revenge. She moved on hoping life would finally be kind to her.

At the age of 19 she got married and her husband got killed weeks after the wedding. She stood there frozen in the winter cold at the funeral. Not one tear rolled from her eyes. She held brave face and knew things would one day be better.

Weeks after the death of her husband she lost her baby.

So lost all hope. She belived in the rainbow that was goning to be ther after the storm, but in truth there never goinng to be one ever again, not for her.

Everyone she loved had left her…her father…her mother…her husband…and now her precious child was taken away from her She can still go on as if nothing is wrong but she has had it with lying to herself. She just had enough of life shooting challenges at her way.

She looked down from the terrace. Yes the world down there doesn’t care about anything but themselves. As for her she has nothing to care about. Everyone she cared about has been taken from her. She never asked more from life, just for life itself be kind to her. But seems like she was asking for the impossible.

She walked to the edge and spread her arms and pushed her self. For viewers she might seem like she was falling, but she knew she was flying. And she was flying to her loved ones, her family. She was going home.

NICKNAMES...EVER WONDER WHERE AND HOW IT BEGAN

Each of us were born and given a name...but instead of that we use an alternative. It took our parents hours,days,months or sometimes years to come up with the perfect name for us, yet we chose to be known as some other name. I believe that there is no certain stage in life where we gain nicknames. It could begin anywhere.

My kid bro was called Kitty cox he looked like a cat when he was a baby, the name was given to him by his cousin who was only 6 months younger than him. And kitty gave that cousin the name Aby cox he some how couldn't pronounce his name. Then came Kambo...I really have no idea how that one started. It's no only adults who come up with names....the kids make up the cutest of nick names. My lil sis call our uncle Boaba (A.K.A. Donbe) & me Doatha (She couldn't say Dondatha cox it was too long for her). And all this when they were toddlers.

The nicknaming continues when we are in school too. Nicknames are called with accordance to some event that might have happened, (eg.Miss Aminiaya was called to this gal, she used to act so tui and was named as such), due to appearance (eg, the Aminiaya supervisor was called Woody cox he looked like Woody in), and due to their given names (eg, there was a teacher called Shehezaard & we called him Prince), and sometimes due to how they act ( we sometimes call tink gamarunisa cox she sometimes act a lil dumb), due to the name of their house (Senko Shreef)Names are given to different people for differnt reason

Here are some names of my friends:

Tink/Baybigal,Suxsex:Well that was somethin they came up with themseves

Yuyu,Midho:Given by their families

Simba:Given cox she wore a Simba T-Shirt once

Xuny,Aisha:Short for her long name

Gamru:Cox She acts stupid sometimes

Samurai:Hmmm I think cox its the similarity between the two names

As for my name, Kaidha: It is short for Safarukaidha, that is cox I got a huge temper or was it cox it's kinda like my name. Hmmmm ( I cant reallly figure out tat one )

HAPPI B DAY SHUKO

My mother found out about her unexpected pregnancy when I had finished my O Levels. believed then that my mum was too old to start raising another kid.

She had been vomiting the whole of Ramdhaan and didn't even sensed that she was pregnant. For a women who has given birth four kids this was pretty ignorant that she was unaware hat she was pregnant.

Any how she found out later but then also I did lack the enthusiasm. But as days and months passed the prospect of another baby in the family became something we all were looking forward with anticipation.

The doctor told mum when she was six months pregnant that is was a boy, I was so excited, later the doc said it was a gal. And a gal it was.

13th June 2004 mum woke up around 5 and woke the whole family and we all rushed her to the hospital. I had never looked forward to anything that much in my whole life.

12 hours later at 06.06 in the evening Shuko was borned.

She was beautiful, she was perfect slky black curls to her tiny little toes, The best part , she looked like me :)

From that day n ward our lives changed. It started revolving around her

HAPPY 3rd B DAY SHUKO

WAITING IN VAIN

Hours continuing long, sore and heavy-hearted,

Hours of the dusk, when I withdraw to a lonesome and unfrequented spot, seating myself, leaning my face in my hands;

Hours sleepless, deep in the night, when I go forth, speeding swiftly the country roads, or through the city streets, or pacing miles and miles, stifling plaintive cries;

Hours discouraged, distracted--for the one I cannot content myself without, soon I saw him content himself without me;

Hours when I am forgotten, (O weeks and months are passing, but I believe I am never to forget!)Sullen and suffering hours! (I am ashamed--but it is useless--I am what I am;)

Hours of my torment--I wonder if other men ever have the like, out of the like feelings?

Is there even one other like me--distracted--his friend, his lover, lost to him?

Is he too as I am now?

Does he still rise in the morning, dejected, thinking who is lost to him? and at night, awaking, think who is lost?

Does he too harbor his friendship silent and endless? harbor his anguish and passion?

Does some stray reminder, or the casual mention of a name, bring the fit back upon him, taciturn and deprest?

Does he see himself reflected in me? In these hours, does he see the face of his hours reflected?

~ Walt Whitman ~

Picture from flicr

WHY?WHAT?WHERE?

Recently my lil sis, Shuko keeps showering everyone she meets with questions
Why this? What is this? Where is this?She never seems to be out of questions. Sometimes I think she gonna grow up to become a TV host or someone.
The other day she saw a lorry and asked where is its nose?EkekeThat's not all...she is too keen a listener. She listens very carefully when two people are talking and pick up the conversation.
One day my grandma was shouting at donbe cox he was taking this lady out for spins. After that granny came to our room where there was one very keen audience listing to the whole quarrel.
Shuko came up to ganny and asked "Maama Boaba deke rulhi aisa dho? Boaba kaaku govaigen tha duvn dhany?"
My mum who was listening to this burst out laughing. We all learned that conversation like this should be kept private...well at least from shuko.
Remember the scene in Thiyaloabiga where the two girls fight over a T-Shirt and says vagu vagu vagu. Well Shuko picked that up too, whenever Shuko sees both of them she would keep on ranting vagu vagu vagu.
Well at that age I think all kids do all those craxy stuff which are so cute.(but not the questioning...God cox there never seems to be an end to it)And their curiousity is all over the place.

A WALK DOWN MEMORY LANE

Last Friday I found myself with nothing to do...There was no pre-plans made. This is very unlikely for me. I always plan my days ahead.

When I was in school I remember that we all will be looking forward to our weekends. We would have this get to gathers every Friday where we watched moovies, played UNO or just hang out.

Mostly I remember how tink,sucks aesha and I went for our walks. We used to just walk around Male' aimlessly. We would sing these stupid songs, talk about everything and noting and just have a gr8 time.

There was this special place for us. Near Nasandhura there is this Neru place which is very peaceful and we used to go there a lot, more like every chance we get. We had so much fun there. But we stopped after we heard that is is not safe (Jinni type stories scared us). So we changed to our walking around Male' routine.

Somehow for some reason that I cant recall we stopped going for walks. Now I wonder why?

Any how things has changed alot since last year...I wish that it can still be like that. Cox I sure miss the good old days.

I SAY I HATE YOU...BUT I THINK I LOVEYOU

When I heard from you I disliked you
The moment I laid eyes on you I felt disgust
The instance you spoke I hated you
The minute you left I despised you
Through it all I loathed you with all in me
But Still I ended up falling for you

WEDDING BELLS

February was supposed to be the lovers month. There was LOVE in the air. People were confessing their loves and many a love stories began.

As for these days it seems that MARRIAGE is in the air. Everyone is in a hurry to get married. To start the next step of their lives, to get to the next milestone.
Recently one of the youngest among us got married and very soon a friends bro is going to tie the knot so is another friends sister. I guess as any businessman would say this is the wedding season.
So guess in the next year or two we gonna be having the baby season :)

WATER

I watched a moovie called Water last night which is about widows in India. Here is a little of the plot line:

"Water is set in 1938, when India was still under the colonial rule of the British, and when the marriage of children to older men was commonplace. Following hindu tradition, when a man died, his widow would be forced to spend the rest of her life in a widow's ashram, an institution for widows to make amends for the sins from her previous life that supposedly caused her husband's death.
Chuyia (Sarala) is a seven year old girl who has just lost her husband. She is deposited in the ashram for Hindu widows to spend the rest of her life in renunciation. She befriends Kalyani who is forced into prostitution to support the ashram, Shakuntala, one of the widows, and Narayan, a young and charming upper-class follower of Mahatma Gandhi and of Gandhism."

The moovie states that the widows were treated with accordance to some holy book of theirs. The Author of that book whoever that was sure did not have any respect for humanity towards women watsoever.

I wondered if that was how widows were treated, will the men be treated the same way,if they were widower ed. I doubt that. Men at that time pushed their superiorty everywhere. It makes us wonder that how fair and how much respect the Islam gives to women, how much Islam protect Women. I sure as hell am proud to be a women but more proud to be a Muslim.

FALLING TO PIECES

These past few weeks had been hectic for me. I'v been stuck at office and working like a maniac. I like working hard but there is someting called workng hard and working TOO hard. . But don't you just hate it when you hard work hasn't been apprecated?

Yesterday I worked at a record timing stating at mornig 0800 till late night 0300. That make it what 19 hours of non stop work. Any ways am back to my old routin of 8-5 and it sure feels good. But I still need to piece back someoe of my life that I had lost these past few weeks.

After that I'm sure gonn take a mini vacation for myself. I'm thinking about another picnic or somethig to blow off the steam. :)

Picture:Flickr

IS RED THE COLOUR OF SUPER HEROES???

Recently I watched Spiderman 3 & I noticed that he, just like Superman wear the colurs RED
They are not the only one hooked on RED
There is :

Wonderman who's suit is a comination of BLACK & RED

Scarelet Witch-RED

Daredevil-RED

Flash-RED & YELLOW

Human Tourch-RED

Captain America-RED,BLACK & WHITE

Wonder Women-RED,BLUE,GOLD & WHITE

The Incredibles-RED,BLACK & YELLOW

So After all this I came to one conclution, that RED after all represent POWER

What kind of Power I fail to see Cox for me RED is a female Colour, but hey if super heroes get the kicks out of the colour RED who am I to judge.

Anyways the colour sure looks good, so does the tight suits :)

ERROR! ERROR! ERROR!

This stupid network. For the past wek I had been trying to get online with vain

The netwok is so stupid. I was able to view any site want but I wasnt abl to get online in blogger or in messenger. But I was able to check my Gmail but not my Hotmail.

I had been so frustrate all this week

Fnally now I am able to gt onlie and the network is back to NORMAL

Thank God for that

Amen!!!

LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE

Take my photo off the wall
If it just won't sing for you
'Cause all that's left has gone away
And there's nothing there for you to prove

Oh, look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
Oh well, it seems likes such fun
Until you lose what you had won

Give me back my point of view
'Cause I just can't think for you
I can hardly hear you say
What should I do, well you choose

SUICIDE IS...NOT THE ANSWER

At one point I couldn't go on
I didn't want to face the world another day
Life was too hard, and the world was too cruel
I wanted to make it go away.

So, I called a friend to say good-bye
I said this was best for everyone, even me
Then I wrote a little note
Telling mom and dad not to cry.

I told them to try and understand
that this had to be
it was best if I was gone
and I hoped this they would see.

I swallowed the pills
and started to cry
I couldn't do it
I was too much a coward to die.
So, if you are thinkingof taking your life
please reconsider
and put down that knife...

LIFE...

Life is like a book; you turn the pages

You find out who you are through the ages

Once I spit these troubling rhymes in a poetic form

It turns out looking like a sunny day after the storm

RAIN DROPS KEEP FALLING O MY HEAD

I personally love rainy day cox its definitly much better compared to the hot sweaty days but it create more obtacles.

Like last night I finished work at 1800 and it was raining cats & dogs. I tried calling a cab for an HOUR. YES one hour. I kept pressing the readila button like Lock kept pressing the button in the shaft. With Luck I managed to get through to two taxi stations only to be told that they dont have any taxi's available. And since I am no seer I didnt forsee that it was gonna rain this much so I didnt even bring an umbrella. In the end I had to go home soakin wet.

Some times rainy days makes me so mad. I had trouble going to my tutions cox the roads were flooded.

A wise man once said...Too much of something is never good for anyone

DEVILS GAME

I'm scared to be on my own

Cox that's when they come

To posses the one thing I need the most

To take total control over them

I dont want to to be weak

But it visits me when I cant fight

The devils knocking on my door

I dont think I can take it anymore

Everyday I promise myself

Im gonna be strong enough

But I end up being, nothing more

The the devils puppet

He is creeping in on me again
When I'm weak, I cannot fight
He blinds me, and I cant see straight
He clouds my jugement
He whispers in my ear
Telling me to do things,Which I know aint right

But no matter what I end up
being just that; Another pawn
In the Devils game

Is it really the DEVIL then I ask myself
Or is it just me

Who is playing on to the Devils hands

IN MEMORY OF JINAAN

No one is ever born into Life alone. Everyone has shared the bond of family, at least at birth, and for many people it is a bond that will follow them throughout life. For many people it is the most important bond of all.

Today someone precious was taken from us. Taken to God's grace.I ask myself, Why him?He was just a innocent, why not somene who was more deserving to die...I've a few to list

But who am I to questions Gods' Bigger plans.
This made me realise that death doesnt see age,sex,position or any such. It just comes knocking and we have no choice but to let it in. Either willigliy or not we have to accept that fact.
Maybe it was for the better i say, he was spared from seeing all the ugly, spared of every evil & gone to a better place

He will always be remembered in our hearts

Ali jinaan
21.03.2007 - 26.04.2007

THE PRE-SUPERMAN SUIT

I have been watching a lot of Smallville latelly in order to catch up with th current season.

And I noticed that Tom Welling a.k.a. Clark Kent wore a lot of Blue & Red. And sometimes an occasional Black or white. And we rarely see some brown.

Have to agree the red & blue sure looks good on him but I doubt that was what the dsigner or the costume co-ordinator had in mind when choosing his clothing.

Since the Superman costume is in Red & Blue I'm guessning the designer thought it would be brilliant to dress him in those colours as in an unofficial superman suit and we as he viewers will be reminded that he is infact superman.

And those who havent notice this fact must be paying more attention to Tom Wellings face & bod than the series irtself

UNFORGETABLE FIRST TRIP TO HULHUMALE'

During the long weekend we got i made a little trip to Hulhumale' with my friends. It was me,tink.perky,midho & fruity.We all went in the evening ( Cox we can avoid the heat)Since we all went for a swim we tried in vain to find a nice spot. By this I mean where there weren't weeds or were full of priky rocks. Alas for us it was that and more. The water was so murky too.But we all still took a dip and stayed near the shallow water. We didn't play any games or anything just stayed there in the water.After that we changed and got ready to head back. Now this is where things got intresting. Since I had never gone to Hulhumale' this came as a surprise to me.The whole terminal was full. But we stayed in line. Suddenly the doors were opened and everyone dashed to get out and get on to one of the ferries.People were pushing each other to out win one another. There took no notice to children or anyone for the matter. We all were almost crushed among the pool of people that day. And to make matters worse when me,perky, tink and fruity got on to the ferry in vain the ferry captain or whatever said that midho cant get in cox there were enough people. We all got so angry that we got off and waited for the next ferrry. The whole trip was ruined by the return trip....Either people in Male' or Hulhumale' needs better manners or MTCC needs to make the terminal larger. Either way I'm not stepping in Hulhumale' any time soon.

Yeah it was also in the news that that day about 3000 or so people visited Hulhumale'. It was a record. No wonder it was like ungulhey baazaar that night.

ACCEPTED

We all try to do our best in everything we do. But the million dollar question is - are doing that so cox we want it ? or is it becox someone else expect that of us?
Acceptance.One single word so strong.We all try to get acceptance from everyone we meet. Family.Friends.Collegues.Husbands/Wives.

We all try to go that extra mile not becox we want to, and neither cox its right or wrong. We do it cox we want to be accepted. Smoking is the best example to emphasis that.

Ive tried my best to try to do wat was expected of me ever since I can remember. People accepting me was essential for me so I did all I can do to fit in. But in doing so I lost perspective of myself. I've tried so hard to be accepted that I forgot the reason why I wanted to do it in the place. Maybe is was to fit in maybe just to be like the others or maybe to make my friends and mum to like and love me better.

I've done things I didn't want to do and some of them I still live to regret.But I'm through with being what people what me to be.There is no way we can ever please everyone. There is only one person's opinion whom I should be bothered about and that is God, Himself.

So if people dont like me for being me we'll then thats their problem not mine :)

Life's too short to be live through other people's eyes

PLEASE LISTEN

When I ask you to listen to me
And you start to give me advice,
You have not done what have asked
When I asked you to listen to me
And you begin to tell me why,
I shouldn’t be feel that way,
You are trampling on my feelings
When I ask you to listen to me
And you feel like you have to do something
To solve my problem,
You have failed me,
Strange as they may seem
Listen! All I ask is that you listen
Don’t talk or do – just hear me
Advice is cheap; 20 cents will get
You both Dear Abby & Billy Graham
In the same newspaper.
And I can do for myself, I am not hopeless
Maybe discourage & faltering
But not helpless
When you do something for me that I can
And need to do myself,
You contribute to my fear & inadequacy
But when you accept as a simple fact
That I feel what I feel,
No matter how irrational,
That I can stop to convince
You and get about this business
Of understanding what’s behind
This irrational feeling
And when that’s clear the answers are
Obvious and I don’t need advice
Irrational feeling make sense when
When we understand what’s behind them
That’s why prayers works, sometimes
For some people – because God is mute
And he doesn’t give advice or tell you how to fix things
God just listen and let you work it out yourself
So please listen, and just hear me
And if you want to talk, wait a minute
For your turn – and I will listen to you

-Author Unknown-